Monday, March 24, 2014

LIFE


Holistic Acne Treatment

There is a holistic treatment for acne that has been around since 2003. It has proven itself to be quite effective for many people. The link at the bottom of this post has many of the testimonials concerning the acne treatment.
It's never fun having to deal with acne, and for some of us, covering it up with makeup daily is a lengthy task. Having a lot of acne can play a role in lower self esteem, and well...that's not good at all. This is why I chose to post this. I want this to work for you and I would love it if you tried it and contacted me with your results!
There's nothing better than a renewing of our spirit, an uplift in our confidence, and a boost of self image!

Go here to find out more about this holistic acne treatment:

http://46c1b2ul6phk2m852b8ybwf13c.hop.clickbank.net/


BeforeBeforeAfterAfter

Steps To Looking 10 Years Younger

By Steve & Becky Holman: Did you know that once you hit 40 years of age, whether you're a man or a women, your body starts aging FASTER than normal? Studies have shown that without the proper nutrients and exercise, your body will age about 6 months EXTRA for every year that passes. Think about that! If you are 40, that means by the time you hit 44 you will LOOK and FEEL 46. And by the time you reach 60, you will LOOK and FEEL 70 YEARS OLD! We see this every day... just look around you.
Did you know that 90% of people over the age of 35 lose enough muscle every year to burn off an additional 4 pounds of body fat? That means you not only lose the only thing on your body that creates shape, tone, and strength—you also gain more fat every year, even if your calories stay the same.
Drink Your Water!
Did you know that all of this is reversible at any age? That there are specific ways to move, eat, and think that tell your brain to STOP this rapid aging process... and even SLOW IT DOWN to the point where you're aging less than a year for every year? That means you can look younger at 40 than you do at 35... or if you're like Becky and me, younger at 50+ than we did at 40!

To read more: http://eb75316d7viq8lf82cg-dk8od2.hop.clickbank.net/

 
 


Friday, January 17, 2014

Your Words Hold Power, Use Positive Words!




Don't only believe but SAY that wonderful things will be happening. FAITH is a powerful thing. YOU are in control of your destiny. Good or bad, YOU decide. Make sure you use the POWER of your WORDS for what is right.

Sunday, June 9, 2013

For the Bullied and Beautiful

http://www.ted.com/talks/shane_koyczan_to_this_day_for_the_bullied_and_beautiful.html

For those of you who have already viewed this video, view it again. Remind yourself of what Shane is talking about. For those of you who may watch this for the 1st time, do not ever forget it! Let it change you. Let it motivate you to being the best you can be. Realize who you are. You are not defined by others. You are unique and important. Do good for the world!

Monday, May 27, 2013

Happy Memorial Day

The tough part is close-up. Seeing what a bullet can do to your friend.
- Lt. Larry Gwin (Vietnam)


 The dead soldier's silence sings our national anthem.
-Aaron Kilbourn

With the tears a Land hath shed.
Their graves should ever be green.
-Thomas Bailey Aldrich
And they who for their country die shall fill an honored grave, for glory lights the soldier's tomb, and beauty weeps the brave.
-Joseph Drake





Refreshing Summer Drink

Watermelon Coconut Breeze


Ingredients:
3 cups cubed chilled watermelon
1 cup coconut water
squeeze of fresh lime
ice (what ever you desire)
sprig of mint

Throw it all in a blender. Blend till smooth. Enjoy!



Tuesday, March 19, 2013

A child's inner voice...


Be a proper example for your children.  They are the future.  Do we want the future to be in peril? 

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Teach your kids what really counts...

Bullying seems as though it is getting worse.  We should know better than to demean someone's character and uniqueness.  I heard a sad story yesterday...
A mom went shopping with her 9 year old son.  He was really excited to pick out his own clothes from Old Navy.  He ended up picking out a blue shirt with a Furby on it.  If you aren't certain what a Furby is, the picture is below.  The boy was so happy to have picked out his own clothing.  He felt like he was a boy, becoming a man!  Unfortunately, kids can be cruel, and in this case they were.  The boy wore his new shirt to school the next day and was called horrible names.  The kids taunted him and said he was wearing a "girly" shirt.  I won't list all the names he was called.  He came home in tears telling his mom the story and she was heart-broken and angry (as I would be).  Needless to say, the young boy does not want to wear that shirt again for fear of bullying.  How is this ok?  How is it allowed?  If I were the parents of the children that called him names, they would be in big trouble.  We have to teach our children that there are consequences to their bad behavior.  It seems common sense but why are so many parent's failing to do this?  sigh.



Friday, January 11, 2013

10 Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Everyone wants to feel great and have a good self-esteem.  However, it does not always come so easily for some.  I was one of those people that struggled with who I was from time to time.  The world seems to center itself around looking pretty/handsome, being young forever, being in fantastic shape, etc.  If a person doesn't fit some of these criteria, they can at times feel down in the dumps about who they are as a person.  It is really unfortunate.  I believe we all offer the world a bit of difference and flavor. 

Here are ten ways to boost your self-esteem and start feeling wonderful about YOU today:

1.  Don't define yourself by what people say about you.  Talk to yourself about all the things you like about who you are.

2.  Remember that you get what you are putting out in the world.  If you are putting out negativity then you will get that back.  Focus on putting out those positive vibes.  You will reap the benefits.

3.  If something bad happens, don't linger in sadness or anger.  Learn from it, and if you can't...move on.

4.  Do something for yourself that makes you feel happy. (Buy a book, get ice-cream, purchase a fancy coffee, etc)  You don't want to spend a lot of money. That's not the idea here.  Something simple that will make you smile is what you are after.  If helping someone else makes you happy, then do that!

5.  Spend time with people that lift you up rather then tear you down.  Distance yourself from those negative Nelly's who bicker all the time.

6.  Set a tiny goal for yourself and work to achieve it.  It will build your confidence.  Then once you conquer the small stuff, make some bigger goals.

7.  Laugh.  It is such a healthy thing to do for so many reasons. 

8.  Celebrate the things you achieve.  Don't make them sound less then what they are.  Don't sell yourself short.  Feel proud and happy about it.

9.  Occupy your mind when you feel the bad feeling emerging.  Excercise, meditate, do breathing excercises, read a book, listen to some fun music (nothing depressing), etc.  Don't allow yourself to have any time for gloomy thoughts. This takes training.  If you have felt a certain way for so long it can become habitual.  Make a healthier habit for yourself.

10.  Enjoy YOU.  If you don't like yourself it will be really hard to notice anyone else liking you.  It's not that maybe some people aren't enjoying you, but you will be too distracted with feeling low, to notice.  It turns people off to hang out with an 'Eeyore' type.  Like yourself and notice the people around you that like you too! Maybe you can talk to some of your closest friends and get them to tell you why they enjoy your company so much.  It will be good to hear that.  Take it in!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Naturally Ease your Heartburn

  • As soon as you feel the telltale flicker of heartburn, drink a 250 mL glass of water. It will wash the acid back down your esophagus into your stomach.
  • Saliva helps neutralize stomach acid. So chew a piece of sugarless gum, suck on a candy or daydream about juicy steaks or buttery lobster—whatever it takes to get you to generate and swallow extra saliva.
  • Baking soda is alkaline, so it neutralizes stomach acid. Mix a half-teaspoon of baking soda and a few drops of lemon juice in a half-cup of warm water. Don’t drink the baking soda by itself. You need the lemon juice to dispel some of the gas baking soda creates in the stomach when it comes in contact with stomach acid—there have been cases where baking soda produced such a rapid internal reaction that it ruptured the stomach.
  • The juices of vegetables like carrots, cucumbers, radishes, or beets help to tame the acid in the stomach due to their alkaline nature. Feel free to add a pinch of salt and pepper for flavour. If juicing vegetables is inconvenient or strange to you, just eat some raw vegetables.
  • No matter how terrible you feel, stay upright. Gravity is a powerful force, and if you’re standing, the earth’s pull helps keep acid in your stomach. Avoid bending over after a meal, and definitely don’t lie down.
  • If nighttime heartburn plagues you, eat meals at least two to three hours before you turn in. The added time will give acid levels a chance to decrease before you lie down.
  • You might also elevate the head of your bed 10 to 15 centimetres with large wooden blocks. When you’re tilted at an angle while sleeping, gravity helps keep acid in the stomach.
  • Try sleeping on your left side. When you lie on your left side, the stomach hangs down and fluids pool along the greater curvature, away from the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the thick ring of muscle that separates the stomach from the esophagus and keeps stomach acid where it belongs. Pooled fluids stay farther away from the esophagus.
  • Eat smaller, more frequent meals to minimize the production of stomach acid. And avoid eating too much in one sitting; doing so can force open the LES.
  • If you haven’t done so already, quit smoking. Research shows that smoking relaxes the LES.

  • For more information, go to:  http://www.besthealthmag.ca/get-healthy/home-remedies/natural-home-remedies-heartburn

    Wednesday, November 28, 2012

    Good Reads

    This is a great site to check out ratings and get great book recommendations!  If you aren't already tuned into this website, then I really think you should try it!  I am speaking to all you book loving folks! 

    visit or stay at: www.goodreads.com

    Wednesday, November 21, 2012

    Sensitive Skin, Rashes, and Allergens.

    The term hypoallergenic on a label has almost no meaning


    Manufacturers may put the term hypoallergenic on a label to suggest that these products are gentler, are less likely to cause allergic reactions, and are safer for those with sensitive skin. However, there are neither concrete federal standards nor unequivocal definitions that govern the use of the term hypoallergenic. Moreover, manufacturers are "not required to submit substantiation of hypoallergenicity claims to FDA". Therefore, this term has no meaning, and its presence on a product label should not impact a patient's choice of skin care products.


    The term fragrance-free does not equate to free of fragrance allergens

    Avoiding fragrance in skin care products is a much more daunting task than one might suspect. Although patients associate fragrance mainly with perfume or cologne, fragrance is ubiquitous, and is added to most of the personal care products sold in the United States. Any product that contains fragrance usually contains a mix of several different ingredients. However, individual fragrance ingredients are considered proprietary information. Therefore, the label need only indicate "fragrance," "perfume," or "parfum." Also, some ingredients that serve as fragrance allergens may not easily be recognized as such. This includes ingredients such as benzaldehyde and benzyl alcohol. Making the task even more complex is that "fragrance-free" does not equate to "free of fragrance allergens." Many dermatologists recognize that unscented products often contain masking fragrance. However, even fragrance-free products may legally contain fragrance allergens. If the manufacturer states that a fragrance allergen is used in a product "to serve another purpose," then it may legally carry the label of fragrance-free. Some fragrance allergens serve as preservatives, and some fragrant botanical extracts may serve as moisturizers. A review of popular brands and products reveals that many fall into these categories.

    Baby products smell better, but are not necessarily safe for sensitive skin

    Patients and physicians may presume that products designed for babies are designed to be gentle to the skin. This is why some patients with eyelid dermatitis are commonly instructed by ophthalmologists to stop using soap and to instead cleanse their eyelids with Johnson's® Baby Shampoo. Patients with perianal dermatitis or generalized eczema may also switch to this "gentle" cleanser. However, Johnson's® Baby Shampoo still contains three major allergens, including fragrance, quaternium-15 (a formaldehyde releasing preservative), and cocamidopropyl betaine (a surfactant). Fragrance and quaternium-15 are among the top 10 allergens in the NACDG study. Cocamidopropyl betaine is considered an emerging allergen in the pediatric population and was named the contact allergen of the year in 2004 by the American Contact Dermatitis Society in recognition of its increasing importance as an allergen.

    Soft, pure, and natural 100 percent cotton is not necessarily the fabric of choice

    Certain morphologic clues suggest textile dermatitis. Generalized dermatitis, with accentuation at the lateral neck, the waistband, and the periaxillary region with sparing of the axillary vault, is suggestive of textile dermatitis. In this type of allergy, dermatitis is more prominent at areas where sweat and friction enhance contact with the allergen. In some cases, the dermatitis is more pronounced on the inner thighs, the posterior thighs, the upper inner arms, or under the socks.

    Given the presence of these clues, one should advise patients that clothing may be the culprit, specifically the dyes or the formaldehyde finishes in the fabric. Many patients are skeptical. The common response is: "Because of my sensitive skin, I only wear 100 percent cotton, so that can't be it."

    Of course, cotton clothing has a reputation for being soft, pure, and natural. However, unfinished cotton wrinkles very easily. Thus, formaldehyde, in the form of textile resins, is added to many items of cotton clothing. Some of these items are labeled wash and wear, permanent press, or wrinkle free. However, some cotton items won't be labeled in any specific manner. While garment tags will indicate the fabric used, garment tags will not indicate the presence of formaldehyde finishes.

    Although patients are advised to wear loose clothing, and avoid sweating and friction as much as possible, counseling focuses on choosing garments that are made of certain fabrics.

    When concerned about formaldehyde, patients should be advised to completely avoid cotton/polyester blends, rayon, and corduroy. Some 100-percent cotton fabrics, particularly those that wrinkle easily, may be safe to use. From a practical standpoint, though, because there is no way to tell for sure if a garment has been finished with a formaldehyde resin, patients need to exercise a great deal of caution with these garments; it may be easier to avoid them altogether. Patients may instead use certain alternative fabric types that are unlikely to be finished with formaldehyde resins. These include 100 percent silk, 100 percent polyester, 100 percent linen (that wrinkles easily), 100 percent wool, and 100 percent denim.

    Some individuals may switch to organic cotton thinking that it will be better for their skin. A number of major retailers now sell garments made of organic cotton, including Walmart, Target, Victoria's Secret, and Patagonia. However, organic cotton refers to how the cotton is grown. Because pesticides are not used, this type of cotton is almost surely better for the environment. However, organic cotton garments may still be treated with chemical finishes and dyes. A better choice for patients would be to seek out garments labeled "chemical-free." These are much harder to locate and are usually sold through specialty retailers found on the Internet.

    All-natural does not equate to safer

    This misconception demonstrates the power of marketing. Even a cursory review of drugstore shelves discloses many products termed all-natural therapy and often touted as calming creams or for eczema care. In recent years, many patients seem to be turning to such all-natural products in an effort to avoid the chemicals that they perceive are worsening a dermatitis. In reality, most patients need to be specifically admonished that all-natural does not equate to safe (or even safer).

    One allergen of major significance is balsam of Peru, which would be considered a natural substance. Balsam of Peru is an aromatic fluid obtained by cutting the bark of the tree Myroxolon balsamum. It and its constituents are used commonly as fragrance and flavoring agents. In a study analyzing data from the North American Contact Dermatitis Group (NACDG), after accounting for both the proportion of the population allergic to the allergen and the likelihood of relevance to the patient's complaint, the investigators found that fragrance mix ranked highest of all the allergens tested. Balsam of Peru was ranked third.

    There are a number of other natural products such as botanical extracts and essential oils that can serve as fragrance allergens or as allergens in their own right. An Internet search reveals innumerable products marketed for those with sensitive skin that utilize such substances. Oak moss absolute, geraniol, ylang-ylang oil, and sandalwood oil, while considered natural, are important allergens. This point must be emphasized to patients. As we should all recall, poison ivy is all natural.

    Information taken from: http://dermatology-s10.cdlib.org/144/commentary/contact_dermatitis/katta.html  If you would like to read the full article, please click the link.


    In conclusion, if you have sensitive skin or a tendency to rash...there is not a definitive answer to solve your skin issues.  Trial and error at times may be the only way.  Speaking to a dermatologist may help.  There is also the option of trying to find a product to which you know each ingredient in it. The less ingredients sometimes the better.  However, remember that just because it is organic or natural does not mean that it cannot irritate your skin.  Peppermint essential oil is wonderful and natural, but it can also cause issues to the skin among other things.  Knowing about a product/ingredient is crucial for the sensitive skin type.  You cannot be lazy if you want to avoid a rash and allergic reactions.  Do your homework.  Know what you are ingesting and what you are putting on your skin.  It could be the food you are eating, it could be the nail polish you are wearing, it could be the thing you touched that somehow transferred to your face, etc.  I wish you the best in your pursuit to be rash and allergen free! It is not an easy thing to do!

    Wednesday, November 7, 2012

    YES!

    “Love does not cost anything. Kind words and deeds do not cost anything. The real beauty of the world is equal for everyone to see. It was given by God equally to all, without restrictions.

    Everyone, was given a beautiful vehicle in which to express love to others. Feelings are free to express and give to ourselves and each other through our willingness to give and care.

    What is complicated about this... Why have we made others feel they have to climb mountains and swim oceans in order to make a difference.

    All we need to understand my friends, is that human life was given equally to us all, not partially but in totality.

    The sun was given to all. It does not shine on the few. So, just has nature is indifferent to our station or situation, we need to know that we are all equal. We need to focus on the things that are constant and not place our values on things that can be blown away with the next, great, wind.

    Value life in what ever house it dwells. For when it comes time that we are all stripped to bare bones before the divine and facing eternity, we will understand that the only law we were meant to follow, was to love ourselves and each other. Nothing more...nothing less.”

    ― Carla Jo Masterson


    Tuesday, November 6, 2012

    Celebrity Worship

    Much research has been conducted about who engages in celebrity worship and what drives the compulsion. Celebrity worship for purely entertainment purposes likely reflects an extraverted personality and is most likely a healthy past time for most people. This type of celebrity worship involves harmless behaviors such as reading and learning about a celebrity. Intense personal attitudes towards celebrities, however, reflect traits of neuroticism. The most extreme descriptions of celebrity worship exhibit borderline pathological behavior and traits of psychoticism. This type of celebrity worship may involve empathy with a celebrity’s failures and successes, obsessions with the details of a celebrity’s life, and over-identification with the celebrity.
    I think that if people keep up with celebrities as a hobby (much like I keep up with technology trends), it’s fine and there’s nothing wrong with it. But when people look at celebrities as actual role models, or people whom they would like to model their lives after, that’s when I think it’s taking things a little bit too far.
    Is celebrity worship good or bad?
    Research provides us with a mixed picture. North et al. (2007) found that there’s a certain type of person that seems drawn to celebrity worship:
    [... E]ntertainment social celebrity worship (arguably the most normal form) appears to have no implications for attributional style or self-esteem, intense personal celebrity worship was related to positive self-esteem but also to a propensity toward stable and global attributions, and borderline pathological celebrity worship (arguably the most disordered form) was related to external, stable, and global attributional styles and was close to being associated negatively with self-esteem.
    This suggests that people with the most extreme celebrity worship engage in an attributional style that believes the cause of most events in the person’s life are external, that is, they are outside the control of the person experiencing the event. People who have stable, global attributions share such an attribution style with people who are depressed. So people who have the most extreme celebrity worship look to the outside world for explanations, and believe celebrities might hold a piece of that cure.
    North and his colleagues (2007) also provide a nice overview of what prior research has found in this area:
    Several studies have addressed the correlates of celebrity worship, such as a higher incidence among young people (Ashe & McCutcheon, 2001; Giles, 2002; Larson, 1995); employment of a game-playing love style (McCutcheon, 2002); a negative association with some forms of religiosity (Maltby, Houran, Lange, Ashe, & McCutcheon, 2002); and links with different aspects of Eysenck’s (e.g. Eysenck & Eysenck, 1975) personality dimensions (Maltby, Houran, & McCutcheon, 2003).
    Most interesting in the context of this research, Maltby et al. (2004) concluded that intense personal celebrity worship was associated with poorer mental health, and particularly with poorer general health (depression, anxiety, somatic symptoms, social dysfunction) and negative affect (negative affect, stress, and low positive affect and life satisfaction). Similarly, Maltby, McCutcheon, Ashe, and Houran (2001) found that intense personal celebrity worship was associated with depression and anxiety.
     

    For more on this subject:  http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/23/the-psychology-of-celebrity-worship/

    Wednesday, October 17, 2012

    Is Natural Makeup Worth the Price?

    We’ve all seen commercials for natural makeup. While it sounds great in theory, the price often deters us from trying it. However, you may find you actually save money by looking for makeup that uses natural ingredients versus chemicals.

    Take a minute and look at the ingredients in your foundation or concealer. Do you notice a bunch of words you can’t even pronounce? Most of the ingredients are likely preservatives to extend your makeup’s lifespan. Since it’s only safe to use makeup for a set period anyway, preservatives aren’t all that necessary. Other chemical ingredients can lead to issues such as rashes, breakouts and even hormone problems.

    For more information, check out this great entry at: http://www.onefaceinamillion.com/is-natural-makeup-worth-the-price/46568/

    I personally like to wear makeup with products that are safe and natural.  I have been told I have great skin.  I don't take long, hot showers (try to limit your showers to 10-15min. tops).  If you have seen that Doctor Oz episode, it talks about the dangers of really long, hot showers.  Your skin pays the price.  My rule: If I cannot pronounce the product ingredient, I look it up.  I like to research what I am using.  I want to give my skin the respect it deserves. It is the biggest organ of your body. Treat it right! I moisturize morning and night. I use toner. I use eye cream. Ya, it seems like a lot, but it became a routine for me.  I don't look it at it negatively.  I see the results it is giving me. I am thankful. 

    Thursday, October 11, 2012

    Are you in a Controlling Relationship?

    Clues:

    -Physical abuse
    Controlling people sometimes elicit physical abuse in order to show dominance over their partner. If you are being harmed in any way, it is time to get away, no questions asked.
    -Quick Attraction
    Often times, a controller seeks out an immediate commitment, on many levels, to gain control. They overwhelm you with kind words, gifts, and promises in order to charm you. They amp up the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship by talking about the future (marriage and growing old together) and proclaiming their love for you within the first few weeks of dating. They often want to move in with you or marry you very early on as well. These rapid loving feelings can point towards the same quick detachment from you in the future.
    -Everything is your fault
    No matter what happens, you are the one who faces the blame. If you come to your partner with a problem or concern about something they are doing, a controller will often turn it around and say that their behavior is somehow a reflection of something you did. A controller never takes responsibility for their poor behavior.
    -Communication is avoided
    If you express a concern, it is turned right back around on you, which can be referred to as “echoing.” For example, if you tell your partner not to talk over you, they respond with “You are the one who is always talking over me.” This prevents them for having to take responsibility for their actions, turn the fault around on you, and also avoid having to properly discuss any problems or concerns you may have.
    -You don’t get heard
    If you express a concern, whether it is about the relationship or something going on in your own life, you get talked over or just disregarded all together. If you offer suggestions, those will also get disregarded because they see your opinion as less valuable. Often, no matter how you phrase things or talk in a positive light, there can be backlash from the controlling member of the relationship.
    -You are forced to give up relationships/cut off support
    If someone is telling you the relationship you are involved in is bad for you, you might begin to second-guess yourself. This is a major reason the controller wants to get you away from the people you are close to. It starts with the controller telling you how badly your friends/family are treating you, how they don’t understand or appreciate you, or give negative opinions about these people. As time passes, your partner will get upset when you talk to or about the people you are close to and often times chastise you for it through verbal punishment, interrogation, or abuse. This too will get tiring for you so, rather than face these conflicts, many withdraw from friends/family. Your loved ones will most be upset with you for it as well, putting you in the middle and unfairly forcing you to end up choosing between the two sides.
    -Nothing you do is ever enough
    Don’t ever believe that you’re not good enough. Sure, there may be people who are better than you at certain things in life, just like you have your own skill set, but a partner should make you feel valued. Controllers will nit-pick your behavior and point out all your “flaws” to make you lower you self-worth. After your confidence has lowered, their hope is that you will realize how lucky you are to have someone who puts up with someone “inadequate.” If you are in a relationship, you should see each other as equals – nothing more, nothing less.
    -Friends and family dislike him/her
    Your friends and family are on the outside looking in. While the only ones who truly know a relationship are the people involved in it, there are times when loved ones opinions do matter. It is different when everyone you know doesn’t like who you are in a relationship with instead of just one or two people having complaints. Take their opinions with a grain of salt, but remember that it can certainly mean something when you are the only one not against the relationship. Also, your partner may try to convince you that your friends/family are not against him, but instead are against you and your happiness. This is a big red flag that your partner is trying to manipulate you away from any other external influencers.
    -Walking on eggshells
    Are you afraid to bring things up because of the backlash you always face? Someone with a controlling personality can make you feel afraid to mention simple things like running into a friend or questioning something. This can also make you feel on-edge and tense, which is not how you should feel around the one you love.
    -Extreme temper outbursts
    When the relationship begins, you’ll most likely just hear about their violent temper. Over time, you will be witness to their temper problems – throwing things, yelling, driving too fast, punching/kicking things, etc. They promise they will never turn the violence in your direction, but that doesn’t mean it never happens. Extreme yelling or raised voices will be very apparent in an argument with this person. Also, a lot of times, the controller will brag about their power and temper. They do it out of pride and also to remind you of what they are capable of.
    -Bad stories
    You can learn a lot about people by the stories they tell about themselves. The most basic level of this is when you enter a new relationship and ask for stories to learn more about the other person’s personality. This reflects what they find interesting and impressive about themselves. Controllers may brag about their behaviors and the ending of all past relationships is never their fault and that they did everything right or had their compassion taken advantage of. They will brag about things you know are not something to be proud of, such as stealing, violence, or criminal records. Read between the lines of their stories for personality traits they are explaining.

    *Not only are these experiences negative while they’re happening, but they can be damaging after the relationship ends. The harmful partner can change your views on love and also hurt your relationships with other people. For more info:

    http://vawprevention.org/2011/08/19/warning-signs-of-a-controlling-relationship/

    Be aware of these signs and write things down (with times and dates).  It is good to monitor how often these signs are showing up.  The good thing about writing the times and dates as well, is that if it happens to go to court for any reason, you have proof of this treatment.  It is truly sad that we would have to resort to some of these things, but if there is no proof, no one may believe you, and you get to see for yourself how often it is taking place.  It is hard for a controlling person to change.  Keep yourself safe.  You are just as valid as they are, and you have a right to your opinion.  No one can tell you how to be and who you should be friends with (above all else, if they care about you, they will trust you. Of course, that changes if you have given them a reason not to trust you).  Don't ever let them get so far as to try to isolate you from your family (they should want to be a part of your family, not try to seperate it).  You get to choose how much power these people receive.  It is similar to bullying.  They will continue to bully if they know you will not stand up for yourself.  If you need support, talk to a professional or even a close friend/family member. 

    Tuesday, October 2, 2012

    Anger-Steps to Help you Get through It

    Common Ingredients of Anger:
    • Unfairness – We believe that we have been treated unfairly. We tell ourselves that we deserve more, and we buy into this story that someone has wronged us.
    • Lost - We feel that we have lost something that we have identified ourselves with. Feelings, pride, money, car, job.
    • Blame – We blame other people or external situations for having caused our loss, for taking advantage of us unfairly. The blame often only resides in our heads and is a product of our imagination. We fail to see things from other people’s perspectives. We become deeply selfish.
    • Pain - We experience pain, mental distress, and anxiety. The pain causes physical responses in our body, which disturbs our natural energy flow and state of wellbeing.
    • Focus - We focus on the thing we don’t want, and energize it by complaining about it passionately, and repeating it to as many people who will listen. This creates a downward spiral of anger. “What we focus on expands”, this is true regardless of the emotion.
    Why Should We Bother with Overcoming Anger?
    Negative emotions like anger kick us into survival mode, as if saying to our body, “we are in danger”. There is a physiological change that takes place in our body to prepare us for fight or flight. These physical responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body – affecting our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its harmonious functioning and balance.

    When negative feelings arise, we have two choices,
    1. To follow the habitual pattern we’ve learned since we were young, to react and allow the negativity to consume us.
    2. Or, to interrupt the pattern we have been conditioned to follow, and in doing so build new neural pathways that allows for alternative possibilities.
    There are essentially three ways to interrupt a behavioral pattern:
    • Visual - Change your thoughts.
    • Verbal – Change your language.
    • Kinesthetic – Change your physical position.
    1. Look Up!
    The fastest way to change negative feelings is by changing our physical position right away. The easiest way to physically change is by moving our eye position. When we are in a negative state, we are likely looking down. Suddenly looking up (into our visual plane) will interrupt the negative patterns of sinking into the quick sand of bad feelings.
    Any sudden physical change will do the trick:
    • Stand up and stretch while letting out an audible sigh.
    • Exaggerate and change your facial expressions.
    • Walk over to a window where there is sunlight.
    • Do 10 jumping jacks.
    • Do a ridiculous dance that pokes fun at you.
    • Massage the back of your neck with one hand while singing happy birthday.
    Try this next time you feel a negative or unpleasant thought come up.
    2. “What Do You Want?”
    Sit down and write down exactly what it is that you want out of the current situation. Your job is to describe the end result you would like to see. Be clear, realistic and fair. Be specific with your description. Including dates of when you would like to see the results.
    Once you have this clearly mapped out, and when you find yourself drifting into negative thoughts of what you don’t want, you can shift your focus on this list instead.
    Also, when we do this exercise consciously, we’ll come to find that the arbitrary and materialistic things that we thought we wanted, aren’t want we want, after all. Clarity is a beautiful thing.
    3. Eliminate: Don’t, Not, No
    Words such as Don’t, Not, No, Can’t gets us focused on the things that we don’t want. Language is a powerful thing and can influence our subconscious mind, and ultimately our feelings. When you catch yourself using a negated word, see if you can replace it with another word of opposing meaning. Example: instead of saying “I don’t want war”, say “I want peace”.
    4. Finding the Light
    Darkness can only be eliminated when there is light (like a lamp, or sunlight). In the same way, negative things can only be replaced by positive things. Remember that regardless of what is happening to us externally, or how bad things appear in our mind, we always have the choice to speak and see things positively.
    I know this is harder to do when you’re in midst of heated emotions, but I’m a big believer that there is something to be learned from every situation we encounter. Look for the lesson. Find something about the situation that you’ve gained, whether it’s a material possession or an understanding or a personal growth. Find the light so you can uncover the darkness of your mind.
    5. Surrender
    Surrender to our ego’s need to be right, to blame, to be spiteful, and to be revengeful. Surrender to the moment. Surrender to the pull to become worked-up by the situation.
    Become mindful. Watch your thoughts and learn to separate your thoughts from your own identity. Your thoughts are not you.
    Things will play out regardless of whether we become emotional or not. Trust that the universe will work its course and do its job. By not surrendering, we get worked up for nothing, and our body will suffer as a result of it.
    6. Circle of Influence
    When we are feeling down, it’s easy to be sucked into the downward spiral of bad feelings. It really doesn’t help to be around others complaining about the same issues. It’s counter-productive to getting well.
    Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook. When we are around such a group of people, they will remind us of things we already know deep within us, we can start to recognize the good, and the positives. When we are down, we can draw energy from them in order to rise above the problem and negative state.
    In the same way that being around negative people can affect you in a negative way, being around happy and optimistic people can raise our awareness, and help us move out of the un-resourceful state.

    These are just a few examples. For more examples, refer to this link:
    http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/15-simple-ways-to-overcome-anger/

    Friday, August 24, 2012

    Thanks to a Friend

    Thanks to someone replying to one of my recent posts, I was able to get ahold of this blog, that offers a good amount of information on Apricot kernels.  It is important to know where you are getting them, because simply said, some work and some dont.  Here is the link to the blog post that sheds some light on this:


    http://apricot-kernels.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/apricot-kernels-some-work-some-dont.html

    I do hope this helps if you are interested in looking into this as a alternative healing method. Take care one and all!

    Tuesday, August 21, 2012

    A Great Petition to be a Part Of

    In Canada (B.C. specifically) they are proposing to make a pipeline (they call it the Enbridge Northgate Project).  Now here is some of the huge issues with that, that they don't really like people to focus on:

    -It's 1700 Km of pipeline from Alberta Oil Sands to B.C.'c northern coast.
    -It has potential to wreak havoc on Canada's most untouched wilderness
    -It will cross an estimated 1000 salmon-bearing and freshwater streams
    -It will cross mountains
    -Go through rainforests
    -It will go through First Nations territories

    This is just a small list of the issues with this pipeline. I haven't even scraped the surface! This hurts me, because not only do I care for our environment and the animals in it, but I want my children to grow up and have the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of this country and elsewhere, without selfish industry ruining it.  Take a stand with me by signing these 2 petitions! They are different from each other, so please sign them both! We have to be the voice for the voiceless. If our planet could talk, it wouldn't want this!

    http://www.wwf.ca/conservation/oceans/greatbearsea/take_action_great_bear_sea/


    http://dogwoodinitiative.org/no-tankers/petition

    Thank you for taking the time for this!