Anger-Steps to Help you Get through It

Common Ingredients of Anger:

• Unfairness – We believe that we have been treated unfairly. We tell ourselves that we deserve more, and we buy into this story that someone has wronged us.
• Lost - We feel that we have lost something that we have identified ourselves with. Feelings, pride, money, car, job.
• Blame – We blame other people or external situations for having caused our loss, for taking advantage of us unfairly. The blame often only resides in our heads and is a product of our imagination. We fail to see things from other people’s perspectives. We become deeply selfish.
• Pain - We experience pain, mental distress, and anxiety. The pain causes physical responses in our body, which disturbs our natural energy flow and state of wellbeing.
• Focus - We focus on the thing we don’t want, and energize it by complaining about it passionately, and repeating it to as many people who will listen. This creates a downward spiral of anger. “What we focus on expands”, this is true regardless of the emotion.

Why Should We Bother with Overcoming Anger?
Negative emotions like anger kick us into survival mode, as if saying to our body, “we are in danger”. There is a physiological change that takes place in our body to prepare us for fight or flight. These physical responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body – affecting our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its harmonious functioning and balance.

When negative feelings arise, we have two choices,

1. To follow the habitual pattern we’ve learned since we were young, to react and allow the negativity to consume us.
2. Or, to interrupt the pattern we have been conditioned to follow, and in doing so build new neural pathways that allows for alternative possibilities.

There are essentially three ways to interrupt a behavioral pattern:

• Visual - Change your thoughts.
• Verbal – Change your language.
• Kinesthetic – Change your physical position.

1. Look Up!
The fastest way to change negative feelings is by changing our physical position right away. The easiest way to physically change is by moving our eye position. When we are in a negative state, we are likely looking down. Suddenly looking up (into our visual plane) will interrupt the negative patterns of sinking into the quick sand of bad feelings.
Any sudden physical change will do the trick:

• Stand up and stretch while letting out an audible sigh.
• Exaggerate and change your facial expressions.
• Walk over to a window where there is sunlight.
• Do 10 jumping jacks.
• Do a ridiculous dance that pokes fun at you.
• Massage the back of your neck with one hand while singing happy birthday.

Try this next time you feel a negative or unpleasant thought come up.
2. “What Do You Want?”
Sit down and write down exactly what it is that you want out of the current situation. Your job is to describe the end result you would like to see. Be clear, realistic and fair. Be specific with your description. Including dates of when you would like to see the results.
Once you have this clearly mapped out, and when you find yourself drifting into negative thoughts of what you don’t want, you can shift your focus on this list instead.
Also, when we do this exercise consciously, we’ll come to find that the arbitrary and materialistic things that we thought we wanted, aren’t want we want, after all. Clarity is a beautiful thing.
3. Eliminate: Don’t, Not, No
Words such as Don’t, Not, No, Can’t gets us focused on the things that we don’t want. Language is a powerful thing and can influence our subconscious mind, and ultimately our feelings. When you catch yourself using a negated word, see if you can replace it with another word of opposing meaning. Example: instead of saying “I don’t want war”, say “I want peace”.
4. Finding the Light
Darkness can only be eliminated when there is light (like a lamp, or sunlight). In the same way, negative things can only be replaced by positive things. Remember that regardless of what is happening to us externally, or how bad things appear in our mind, we always have the choice to speak and see things positively.
I know this is harder to do when you’re in midst of heated emotions, but I’m a big believer that there is something to be learned from every situation we encounter. Look for the lesson. Find something about the situation that you’ve gained, whether it’s a material possession or an understanding or a personal growth. Find the light so you can uncover the darkness of your mind.

5. Surrender

Surrender to our ego’s need to be right, to blame, to be spiteful, and to be revengeful. Surrender to the moment. Surrender to the pull to become worked-up by the situation.
Become mindful. Watch your thoughts and learn to separate your thoughts from your own identity. Your thoughts are not you.
Things will play out regardless of whether we become emotional or not. Trust that the universe will work its course and do its job. By not surrendering, we get worked up for nothing, and our body will suffer as a result of it.
6. Circle of Influence
When we are feeling down, it’s easy to be sucked into the downward spiral of bad feelings. It really doesn’t help to be around others complaining about the same issues. It’s counter-productive to getting well.
Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook. When we are around such a group of people, they will remind us of things we already know deep within us, we can start to recognize the good, and the positives. When we are down, we can draw energy from them in order to rise above the problem and negative state.
In the same way that being around negative people can affect you in a negative way, being around happy and optimistic people can raise our awareness, and help us move out of the un-resourceful state.

These are just a few examples. For more examples, refer to this link:
http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/15-simple-ways-to-overcome-anger/

Thanks to a Friend

Thanks to someone replying to one of my recent posts, I was able to get ahold of this blog, that offers a good amount of information on Apricot kernels.  It is important to know where you are getting them, because simply said, some work and some dont.  Here is the link to the blog post that sheds some light on this:


http://apricot-kernels.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/apricot-kernels-some-work-some-dont.html

I do hope this helps if you are interested in looking into this as a alternative healing method. Take care one and all!

A Great Petition to be a Part Of

In Canada (B.C. specifically) they are proposing to make a pipeline (they call it the Enbridge Northgate Project).  Now here is some of the huge issues with that, that they don't really like people to focus on:

-It's 1700 Km of pipeline from Alberta Oil Sands to B.C.'c northern coast.
-It has potential to wreak havoc on Canada's most untouched wilderness
-It will cross an estimated 1000 salmon-bearing and freshwater streams
-It will cross mountains
-Go through rainforests
-It will go through First Nations territories

This is just a small list of the issues with this pipeline. I haven't even scraped the surface! This hurts me, because not only do I care for our environment and the animals in it, but I want my children to grow up and have the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of this country and elsewhere, without selfish industry ruining it.  Take a stand with me by signing these 2 petitions! They are different from each other, so please sign them both! We have to be the voice for the voiceless. If our planet could talk, it wouldn't want this!

http://www.wwf.ca/conservation/oceans/greatbearsea/take_action_great_bear_sea/


http://dogwoodinitiative.org/no-tankers/petition

Thank you for taking the time for this!

Is there Justice? Will the real heroes, please stand up!?

There are many systems in which we stand.  Not all systems are alike...but are they working?  This is an age old question.  I have struggled with the idea that we have a corrupt system (specifically, the justice system).  Then again, years ago...someone could just yell,"Witch!" And that poor individual that was labelled, was put to death.  Obviously, we have come a long way in our justice system now, but is it for the people?  I have talked with many dealing with divorce, and their answer seems to be, that the system makes the judges and lawyers rich, but the people suffer.  Then again, there are some really great lawyers that fight hard for their clients and strive for them to succeed in what's right. Hmmm. Things to ponder. 

There are many things in our government that aren't being told to "the people".  We as citizens are left in the dark, while many line their pockets with gold.  Is this the case all the time, probably not.  Is there corruption everywhere? Yes.  I think what a person has to do, is choose.  Do you vote?  Do you stand up for what is right?  Are you a fence-sitter?  Do you complain about the world but do nothing to change it?  Are you passionate about helping others?

So many questions to answer.  I choose to believe that there is good in the world worth fighting for, and though people can be dark and cruel, there is still love and goodness which conquers all.  I don't feel that we are alone with our struggles in life.  As people we have to stick together and stop trying to cause devision!

I am writing this because I watched "The Dark Knight Rises" in theatre.  Not only was my heart aching for the people that were shot in Colorado, but I was listening to the message of the movie.  I do that a lot.  I am not one to just watch a show and say, "yeah, that was soooo awesome!" But walk away not learning anything. So, what did I hear and learn?

I learnt that you have to have hope in dark times.  You also have to stick together and help each other.  Another thing, you can't sit on your hands and let bad people and bad decisions change the course of your life.  Take control of your own life, take accountability, and never let anyone discourage you from doing what is right. Fight for what is right!  Batman is a fictional hero, but there are many real heroes among us.  Be one.  It's not hard.  Just stand up and promote what is good and just.  You don't have to wait on someone else to do it first!

Why Do People Bully?

What Is Bullying?
Before we can discuss why people bully, we need to have a clear understanding of what bullying is. Some consider bullying to be purposeful attempts to control another person through verbal abuse - which can be in tone of voice or in content such as teasing or threats - exclusion, or physical bullying or violence, which the victim does not want. While some ties the feature of "peer abuse" and "repeated activity" into the definition of bullying, others acknowledge single instances and age difference in their definitions of bullying. Bullying occurs in schools, workplaces, in homes, on playgrounds, in the military, and in nursing homes, for example. In the article "Uncovering the hidden causes of bullying and school violence" published in Counseling and Human Development in February, 2000, Barry K. Weinhold states that bullying is the most common type of violence in contemporary US society. Although a form of harassment, bullying is considered to be a separate category from sexual harassment.

Why Do People Bully?
There are a variety of reasons why people bully.

*Cultural Causes of Bullying In a culture that is fascinated with winning, power, and violence, some experts suggest that it is unrealistic to expect that people will not be influenced to seek power through violence in their own lives. Researchers point to the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) as glorification of bullies in the name of entertainment and point out that the high rate of domestic violence means that many young people grow up expecting that violence is an acceptable way to get what one wants.
*Institutional Causes If the institution at which the bullying takes place - whether the home, the school, or the workplace - does not have high standards for the way people treat each other, then bullying may be more likely and/or prevalent and have an influence on why people bully.
*Social Issues The fact that one gets more social recognition for negative behaviors than for positive ones can also contribute to reasons why people bully. Situation comedies and reality television, as well as real life situations in schools, for example, show that acting out is more likely to get noticed than behaving oneself civilly and courteously. Jealousy or envy and a lack of personal and social skills to deal with such feelings can also be reasons why people bully.
*Family Issues Families that are not warm and loving and in which feelings are not shared are more likely to have children who bully, either within the family home or in other locations in which the children meet others. Another home environment that is prone to producing bullies is one in which discipline and monitoring are inconsistent and/or a punitive atmosphere exists.
*The Bully's Personal History Children who experience social rejection themselves are more likely to "pass it on" to others. Children who experience academic failure are also more likely to bully others.
*Having Power Some research indicates that the very fact of having power may make some people wish to wield it in a noticeable way, but it is also true that people may be given power without being trained in the leadership skills that will help them wield it wisely. Either situation can contribute to why people bully others.
*Provocative Victims People who are annoying and condescending to others and/or aggressive verbally, or in other ways that are not picked up by those in authority, may contribute to the dynamic that can be characterized as bullying by one individual but actually grows out of provocation by another individual.



3 Healthy foods for Healthy Hair!

"Lather, rinse, repeat" may be standard advice, but shampoo and conditioner alone won't give you the healthy hair you crave. For the most luxurious locks possible, you'll need to step out of the shower, and into the kitchen.

Healthy Hair Food No. 1: Salmon

When it comes to foods that pack a beauty punch, it's hard to beat salmon. Loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, this high-quality protein source is also filled with vitamin B-12 and iron.
"Essential omega-3 fatty acids are needed to support scalp health," says Andrea Giancoli, MPH, RD, a dietitian in Los Angeles and a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "A deficiency can result in a dry scalp and thus hair, giving it a dull look."
Vegetarian? Include one or two tablespoons of ground flaxseed in your daily diet for some plant-based omega-3 fats.

Healthy Hair Food No. 2: Dark Green Vegetables

Popeye the Sailor Man didn't eat all that spinach for healthy hair, but he could have. Spinach, like broccoli and Swiss chard, is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, which your body needs to produce sebum. The oily substance, secreted by your hair follicles, is the body's natural hair conditioner.
Dark green vegetables also provide iron and calcium.

Healthy Hair Food No. 3: Beans

Beans, beans, they're good for your ... hair?
Yes, it's true. Legumes like kidney beans and lentils should be an important part of your hair-care diet. Not only do they provide plentiful protein to promote hair growth, but ample iron, zinc, and biotin. While rare, biotin deficiencies can result in brittle hair.
Blatner, who is also a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, recommends three or more cups of lentils or beans each week.

Vitamins-Some quick info

Food or Pills?

Popping a vitamin supplement may seem like a convenient and easy way to ensure you are meeting your vitamin requirements, but there are some important differences between getting your nutrients from supplements and getting them through food. Although people who eat foods rich in vitamins have a lower rate of disease, this is not the case for people who get these vitamins through supplements, according to the Consumer Reports Health website. This may be because healthy foods typically contain a number of nutrients, all which act together to provide health benefits. However, while it is always preferable to try to meet recommended daily allowance of vitamins and minerals through your diet, this is not always possible.

If you are not consuming enough vitamin enriched foods, then vitamins can ensure you are getting what you need.  However, taking too much can cause some issues as well.  Always do your research or ask your doctor questions if you don't have the answers.  Don't assume that just because they are vitamins that they can't do any harm.  Sometimes too much of something isn't a good thing, so be wise and always take what is needed.

Also, something to note, if you are deficient in your vitamins it can also cause a huge impact on your health.  Eat right, excercise, take vitamins if needed, drink water, etc.  The number one thing here is to treat your body with respect.  It will respect you right back if you do. Be healthy everyone!