Naturally Ease your Heartburn

As soon as you feel the telltale flicker of heartburn, drink a 250 mL glass of water. It will wash the acid back down your esophagus into your stomach.

Saliva helps neutralize stomach acid. So chew a piece of sugarless gum, suck on a candy or daydream about juicy steaks or buttery lobster—whatever it takes to get you to generate and swallow extra saliva.

Baking soda is alkaline, so it neutralizes stomach acid. Mix a half-teaspoon of baking soda and a few drops of lemon juice in a half-cup of warm water. Don’t drink the baking soda by itself. You need the lemon juice to dispel some of the gas baking soda creates in the stomach when it comes in contact with stomach acid—there have been cases where baking soda produced such a rapid internal reaction that it ruptured the stomach.

The juices of vegetables like carrots, cucumbers, radishes, or beets help to tame the acid in the stomach due to their alkaline nature. Feel free to add a pinch of salt and pepper for flavour. If juicing vegetables is inconvenient or strange to you, just eat some raw vegetables.

No matter how terrible you feel, stay upright. Gravity is a powerful force, and if you’re standing, the earth’s pull helps keep acid in your stomach. Avoid bending over after a meal, and definitely don’t lie down.

If nighttime heartburn plagues you, eat meals at least two to three hours before you turn in. The added time will give acid levels a chance to decrease before you lie down.

You might also elevate the head of your bed 10 to 15 centimetres with large wooden blocks. When you’re tilted at an angle while sleeping, gravity helps keep acid in the stomach.

Try sleeping on your left side. When you lie on your left side, the stomach hangs down and fluids pool along the greater curvature, away from the lower esophageal sphincter (LES), the thick ring of muscle that separates the stomach from the esophagus and keeps stomach acid where it belongs. Pooled fluids stay farther away from the esophagus.

Eat smaller, more frequent meals to minimize the production of stomach acid. And avoid eating too much in one sitting; doing so can force open the LES.

If you haven’t done so already, quit smoking. Research shows that smoking relaxes the LES.

For more information, go to:  http://www.besthealthmag.ca/get-healthy/home-remedies/natural-home-remedies-heartburn

Good Reads

This is a great site to check out ratings and get great book recommendations!  If you aren't already tuned into this website, then I really think you should try it!  I am speaking to all you book loving folks! 

visit or stay at: www.goodreads.com

Sensitive Skin, Rashes, and Allergens.

The term hypoallergenic on a label has almost no meaning

Manufacturers may put the term hypoallergenic on a label to suggest that these products are gentler, are less likely to cause allergic reactions, and are safer for those with sensitive skin. However, there are neither concrete federal standards nor unequivocal definitions that govern the use of the term hypoallergenic. Moreover, manufacturers are "not required to submit substantiation of hypoallergenicity claims to FDA". Therefore, this term has no meaning, and its presence on a product label should not impact a patient's choice of skin care products.

The term fragrance-free does not equate to free of fragrance allergens

Avoiding fragrance in skin care products is a much more daunting task than one might suspect. Although patients associate fragrance mainly with perfume or cologne, fragrance is ubiquitous, and is added to most of the personal care products sold in the United States. Any product that contains fragrance usually contains a mix of several different ingredients. However, individual fragrance ingredients are considered proprietary information. Therefore, the label need only indicate "fragrance," "perfume," or "parfum." Also, some ingredients that serve as fragrance allergens may not easily be recognized as such. This includes ingredients such as benzaldehyde and benzyl alcohol. Making the task even more complex is that "fragrance-free" does not equate to "free of fragrance allergens." Many dermatologists recognize that unscented products often contain masking fragrance. However, even fragrance-free products may legally contain fragrance allergens. If the manufacturer states that a fragrance allergen is used in a product "to serve another purpose," then it may legally carry the label of fragrance-free. Some fragrance allergens serve as preservatives, and some fragrant botanical extracts may serve as moisturizers. A review of popular brands and products reveals that many fall into these categories.

Baby products smell better, but are not necessarily safe for sensitive skin

Patients and physicians may presume that products designed for babies are designed to be gentle to the skin. This is why some patients with eyelid dermatitis are commonly instructed by ophthalmologists to stop using soap and to instead cleanse their eyelids with Johnson's® Baby Shampoo. Patients with perianal dermatitis or generalized eczema may also switch to this "gentle" cleanser. However, Johnson's® Baby Shampoo still contains three major allergens, including fragrance, quaternium-15 (a formaldehyde releasing preservative), and cocamidopropyl betaine (a surfactant). Fragrance and quaternium-15 are among the top 10 allergens in the NACDG study. Cocamidopropyl betaine is considered an emerging allergen in the pediatric population and was named the contact allergen of the year in 2004 by the American Contact Dermatitis Society in recognition of its increasing importance as an allergen.

Soft, pure, and natural 100 percent cotton is not necessarily the fabric of choice

Certain morphologic clues suggest textile dermatitis. Generalized dermatitis, with accentuation at the lateral neck, the waistband, and the periaxillary region with sparing of the axillary vault, is suggestive of textile dermatitis. In this type of allergy, dermatitis is more prominent at areas where sweat and friction enhance contact with the allergen. In some cases, the dermatitis is more pronounced on the inner thighs, the posterior thighs, the upper inner arms, or under the socks.

Given the presence of these clues, one should advise patients that clothing may be the culprit, specifically the dyes or the formaldehyde finishes in the fabric. Many patients are skeptical. The common response is: "Because of my sensitive skin, I only wear 100 percent cotton, so that can't be it."

Of course, cotton clothing has a reputation for being soft, pure, and natural. However, unfinished cotton wrinkles very easily. Thus, formaldehyde, in the form of textile resins, is added to many items of cotton clothing. Some of these items are labeled wash and wear, permanent press, or wrinkle free. However, some cotton items won't be labeled in any specific manner. While garment tags will indicate the fabric used, garment tags will not indicate the presence of formaldehyde finishes.

Although patients are advised to wear loose clothing, and avoid sweating and friction as much as possible, counseling focuses on choosing garments that are made of certain fabrics.

When concerned about formaldehyde, patients should be advised to completely avoid cotton/polyester blends, rayon, and corduroy. Some 100-percent cotton fabrics, particularly those that wrinkle easily, may be safe to use. From a practical standpoint, though, because there is no way to tell for sure if a garment has been finished with a formaldehyde resin, patients need to exercise a great deal of caution with these garments; it may be easier to avoid them altogether. Patients may instead use certain alternative fabric types that are unlikely to be finished with formaldehyde resins. These include 100 percent silk, 100 percent polyester, 100 percent linen (that wrinkles easily), 100 percent wool, and 100 percent denim.

Some individuals may switch to organic cotton thinking that it will be better for their skin. A number of major retailers now sell garments made of organic cotton, including Walmart, Target, Victoria's Secret, and Patagonia. However, organic cotton refers to how the cotton is grown. Because pesticides are not used, this type of cotton is almost surely better for the environment. However, organic cotton garments may still be treated with chemical finishes and dyes. A better choice for patients would be to seek out garments labeled "chemical-free." These are much harder to locate and are usually sold through specialty retailers found on the Internet.

All-natural does not equate to safer

This misconception demonstrates the power of marketing. Even a cursory review of drugstore shelves discloses many products termed all-natural therapy and often touted as calming creams or for eczema care. In recent years, many patients seem to be turning to such all-natural products in an effort to avoid the chemicals that they perceive are worsening a dermatitis. In reality, most patients need to be specifically admonished that all-natural does not equate to safe (or even safer).

One allergen of major significance is balsam of Peru, which would be considered a natural substance. Balsam of Peru is an aromatic fluid obtained by cutting the bark of the tree Myroxolon balsamum. It and its constituents are used commonly as fragrance and flavoring agents. In a study analyzing data from the North American Contact Dermatitis Group (NACDG), after accounting for both the proportion of the population allergic to the allergen and the likelihood of relevance to the patient's complaint, the investigators found that fragrance mix ranked highest of all the allergens tested. Balsam of Peru was ranked third.

There are a number of other natural products such as botanical extracts and essential oils that can serve as fragrance allergens or as allergens in their own right. An Internet search reveals innumerable products marketed for those with sensitive skin that utilize such substances. Oak moss absolute, geraniol, ylang-ylang oil, and sandalwood oil, while considered natural, are important allergens. This point must be emphasized to patients. As we should all recall, poison ivy is all natural.

Information taken from: http://dermatology-s10.cdlib.org/144/commentary/contact_dermatitis/katta.html  If you would like to read the full article, please click the link.


In conclusion, if you have sensitive skin or a tendency to rash...there is not a definitive answer to solve your skin issues.  Trial and error at times may be the only way.  Speaking to a dermatologist may help.  There is also the option of trying to find a product to which you know each ingredient in it. The less ingredients sometimes the better.  However, remember that just because it is organic or natural does not mean that it cannot irritate your skin.  Peppermint essential oil is wonderful and natural, but it can also cause issues to the skin among other things.  Knowing about a product/ingredient is crucial for the sensitive skin type.  You cannot be lazy if you want to avoid a rash and allergic reactions.  Do your homework.  Know what you are ingesting and what you are putting on your skin.  It could be the food you are eating, it could be the nail polish you are wearing, it could be the thing you touched that somehow transferred to your face, etc.  I wish you the best in your pursuit to be rash and allergen free! It is not an easy thing to do!

YES!

“Love does not cost anything. Kind words and deeds do not cost anything. The real beauty of the world is equal for everyone to see. It was given by God equally to all, without restrictions.

Everyone, was given a beautiful vehicle in which to express love to others. Feelings are free to express and give to ourselves and each other through our willingness to give and care.

What is complicated about this... Why have we made others feel they have to climb mountains and swim oceans in order to make a difference.

All we need to understand my friends, is that human life was given equally to us all, not partially but in totality.

The sun was given to all. It does not shine on the few. So, just has nature is indifferent to our station or situation, we need to know that we are all equal. We need to focus on the things that are constant and not place our values on things that can be blown away with the next, great, wind.

Value life in what ever house it dwells. For when it comes time that we are all stripped to bare bones before the divine and facing eternity, we will understand that the only law we were meant to follow, was to love ourselves and each other. Nothing more...nothing less.”

― Carla Jo Masterson

Celebrity Worship

Much research has been conducted about who engages in celebrity worship and what drives the compulsion. Celebrity worship for purely entertainment purposes likely reflects an extraverted personality and is most likely a healthy past time for most people. This type of celebrity worship involves harmless behaviors such as reading and learning about a celebrity. Intense personal attitudes towards celebrities, however, reflect traits of neuroticism. The most extreme descriptions of celebrity worship exhibit borderline pathological behavior and traits of psychoticism. This type of celebrity worship may involve empathy with a celebrity’s failures and successes, obsessions with the details of a celebrity’s life, and over-identification with the celebrity.
I think that if people keep up with celebrities as a hobby (much like I keep up with technology trends), it’s fine and there’s nothing wrong with it. But when people look at celebrities as actual role models, or people whom they would like to model their lives after, that’s when I think it’s taking things a little bit too far.
Is celebrity worship good or bad?
Research provides us with a mixed picture. North et al. (2007) found that there’s a certain type of person that seems drawn to celebrity worship:

[... E]ntertainment social celebrity worship (arguably the most normal form) appears to have no implications for attributional style or self-esteem, intense personal celebrity worship was related to positive self-esteem but also to a propensity toward stable and global attributions, and borderline pathological celebrity worship (arguably the most disordered form) was related to external, stable, and global attributional styles and was close to being associated negatively with self-esteem.

This suggests that people with the most extreme celebrity worship engage in an attributional style that believes the cause of most events in the person’s life are external, that is, they are outside the control of the person experiencing the event. People who have stable, global attributions share such an attribution style with people who are depressed. So people who have the most extreme celebrity worship look to the outside world for explanations, and believe celebrities might hold a piece of that cure.
North and his colleagues (2007) also provide a nice overview of what prior research has found in this area:

Several studies have addressed the correlates of celebrity worship, such as a higher incidence among young people (Ashe & McCutcheon, 2001; Giles, 2002; Larson, 1995); employment of a game-playing love style (McCutcheon, 2002); a negative association with some forms of religiosity (Maltby, Houran, Lange, Ashe, & McCutcheon, 2002); and links with different aspects of Eysenck’s (e.g. Eysenck & Eysenck, 1975) personality dimensions (Maltby, Houran, & McCutcheon, 2003).
Most interesting in the context of this research, Maltby et al. (2004) concluded that intense personal celebrity worship was associated with poorer mental health, and particularly with poorer general health (depression, anxiety, somatic symptoms, social dysfunction) and negative affect (negative affect, stress, and low positive affect and life satisfaction). Similarly, Maltby, McCutcheon, Ashe, and Houran (2001) found that intense personal celebrity worship was associated with depression and anxiety.
 

For more on this subject:  http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2008/11/23/the-psychology-of-celebrity-worship/

Is Natural Makeup Worth the Price?

We’ve all seen commercials for natural makeup. While it sounds great in theory, the price often deters us from trying it. However, you may find you actually save money by looking for makeup that uses natural ingredients versus chemicals.

Take a minute and look at the ingredients in your foundation or concealer. Do you notice a bunch of words you can’t even pronounce? Most of the ingredients are likely preservatives to extend your makeup’s lifespan. Since it’s only safe to use makeup for a set period anyway, preservatives aren’t all that necessary. Other chemical ingredients can lead to issues such as rashes, breakouts and even hormone problems.

For more information, check out this great entry at: http://www.onefaceinamillion.com/is-natural-makeup-worth-the-price/46568/

I personally like to wear makeup with products that are safe and natural.  I have been told I have great skin.  I don't take long, hot showers (try to limit your showers to 10-15min. tops).  If you have seen that Doctor Oz episode, it talks about the dangers of really long, hot showers.  Your skin pays the price.  My rule: If I cannot pronounce the product ingredient, I look it up.  I like to research what I am using.  I want to give my skin the respect it deserves. It is the biggest organ of your body. Treat it right! I moisturize morning and night. I use toner. I use eye cream. Ya, it seems like a lot, but it became a routine for me.  I don't look it at it negatively.  I see the results it is giving me. I am thankful. 

Are you in a Controlling Relationship?

Clues:

-Physical abuse
Controlling people sometimes elicit physical abuse in order to show dominance over their partner. If you are being harmed in any way, it is time to get away, no questions asked.
-Quick Attraction
Often times, a controller seeks out an immediate commitment, on many levels, to gain control. They overwhelm you with kind words, gifts, and promises in order to charm you. They amp up the “honeymoon phase” of the relationship by talking about the future (marriage and growing old together) and proclaiming their love for you within the first few weeks of dating. They often want to move in with you or marry you very early on as well. These rapid loving feelings can point towards the same quick detachment from you in the future.
-Everything is your fault
No matter what happens, you are the one who faces the blame. If you come to your partner with a problem or concern about something they are doing, a controller will often turn it around and say that their behavior is somehow a reflection of something you did. A controller never takes responsibility for their poor behavior.
-Communication is avoided
If you express a concern, it is turned right back around on you, which can be referred to as “echoing.” For example, if you tell your partner not to talk over you, they respond with “You are the one who is always talking over me.” This prevents them for having to take responsibility for their actions, turn the fault around on you, and also avoid having to properly discuss any problems or concerns you may have.
-You don’t get heard
If you express a concern, whether it is about the relationship or something going on in your own life, you get talked over or just disregarded all together. If you offer suggestions, those will also get disregarded because they see your opinion as less valuable. Often, no matter how you phrase things or talk in a positive light, there can be backlash from the controlling member of the relationship.
-You are forced to give up relationships/cut off support
If someone is telling you the relationship you are involved in is bad for you, you might begin to second-guess yourself. This is a major reason the controller wants to get you away from the people you are close to. It starts with the controller telling you how badly your friends/family are treating you, how they don’t understand or appreciate you, or give negative opinions about these people. As time passes, your partner will get upset when you talk to or about the people you are close to and often times chastise you for it through verbal punishment, interrogation, or abuse. This too will get tiring for you so, rather than face these conflicts, many withdraw from friends/family. Your loved ones will most be upset with you for it as well, putting you in the middle and unfairly forcing you to end up choosing between the two sides.
-Nothing you do is ever enough
Don’t ever believe that you’re not good enough. Sure, there may be people who are better than you at certain things in life, just like you have your own skill set, but a partner should make you feel valued. Controllers will nit-pick your behavior and point out all your “flaws” to make you lower you self-worth. After your confidence has lowered, their hope is that you will realize how lucky you are to have someone who puts up with someone “inadequate.” If you are in a relationship, you should see each other as equals – nothing more, nothing less.
-Friends and family dislike him/her
Your friends and family are on the outside looking in. While the only ones who truly know a relationship are the people involved in it, there are times when loved ones opinions do matter. It is different when everyone you know doesn’t like who you are in a relationship with instead of just one or two people having complaints. Take their opinions with a grain of salt, but remember that it can certainly mean something when you are the only one not against the relationship. Also, your partner may try to convince you that your friends/family are not against him, but instead are against you and your happiness. This is a big red flag that your partner is trying to manipulate you away from any other external influencers.
-Walking on eggshells
Are you afraid to bring things up because of the backlash you always face? Someone with a controlling personality can make you feel afraid to mention simple things like running into a friend or questioning something. This can also make you feel on-edge and tense, which is not how you should feel around the one you love.
-Extreme temper outbursts
When the relationship begins, you’ll most likely just hear about their violent temper. Over time, you will be witness to their temper problems – throwing things, yelling, driving too fast, punching/kicking things, etc. They promise they will never turn the violence in your direction, but that doesn’t mean it never happens. Extreme yelling or raised voices will be very apparent in an argument with this person. Also, a lot of times, the controller will brag about their power and temper. They do it out of pride and also to remind you of what they are capable of.
-Bad stories
You can learn a lot about people by the stories they tell about themselves. The most basic level of this is when you enter a new relationship and ask for stories to learn more about the other person’s personality. This reflects what they find interesting and impressive about themselves. Controllers may brag about their behaviors and the ending of all past relationships is never their fault and that they did everything right or had their compassion taken advantage of. They will brag about things you know are not something to be proud of, such as stealing, violence, or criminal records. Read between the lines of their stories for personality traits they are explaining.

*Not only are these experiences negative while they’re happening, but they can be damaging after the relationship ends. The harmful partner can change your views on love and also hurt your relationships with other people. For more info:

http://vawprevention.org/2011/08/19/warning-signs-of-a-controlling-relationship/

Be aware of these signs and write things down (with times and dates).  It is good to monitor how often these signs are showing up.  The good thing about writing the times and dates as well, is that if it happens to go to court for any reason, you have proof of this treatment.  It is truly sad that we would have to resort to some of these things, but if there is no proof, no one may believe you, and you get to see for yourself how often it is taking place.  It is hard for a controlling person to change.  Keep yourself safe.  You are just as valid as they are, and you have a right to your opinion.  No one can tell you how to be and who you should be friends with (above all else, if they care about you, they will trust you. Of course, that changes if you have given them a reason not to trust you).  Don't ever let them get so far as to try to isolate you from your family (they should want to be a part of your family, not try to seperate it).  You get to choose how much power these people receive.  It is similar to bullying.  They will continue to bully if they know you will not stand up for yourself.  If you need support, talk to a professional or even a close friend/family member. 

Anger-Steps to Help you Get through It

Common Ingredients of Anger:

• Unfairness – We believe that we have been treated unfairly. We tell ourselves that we deserve more, and we buy into this story that someone has wronged us.
• Lost - We feel that we have lost something that we have identified ourselves with. Feelings, pride, money, car, job.
• Blame – We blame other people or external situations for having caused our loss, for taking advantage of us unfairly. The blame often only resides in our heads and is a product of our imagination. We fail to see things from other people’s perspectives. We become deeply selfish.
• Pain - We experience pain, mental distress, and anxiety. The pain causes physical responses in our body, which disturbs our natural energy flow and state of wellbeing.
• Focus - We focus on the thing we don’t want, and energize it by complaining about it passionately, and repeating it to as many people who will listen. This creates a downward spiral of anger. “What we focus on expands”, this is true regardless of the emotion.

Why Should We Bother with Overcoming Anger?
Negative emotions like anger kick us into survival mode, as if saying to our body, “we are in danger”. There is a physiological change that takes place in our body to prepare us for fight or flight. These physical responses disrupt the natural flow of energy in our body – affecting our heart, immune system, digestion and hormone production. A negative emotion is therefore toxic to the body and interferes with its harmonious functioning and balance.

When negative feelings arise, we have two choices,

1. To follow the habitual pattern we’ve learned since we were young, to react and allow the negativity to consume us.
2. Or, to interrupt the pattern we have been conditioned to follow, and in doing so build new neural pathways that allows for alternative possibilities.

There are essentially three ways to interrupt a behavioral pattern:

• Visual - Change your thoughts.
• Verbal – Change your language.
• Kinesthetic – Change your physical position.

1. Look Up!
The fastest way to change negative feelings is by changing our physical position right away. The easiest way to physically change is by moving our eye position. When we are in a negative state, we are likely looking down. Suddenly looking up (into our visual plane) will interrupt the negative patterns of sinking into the quick sand of bad feelings.
Any sudden physical change will do the trick:

• Stand up and stretch while letting out an audible sigh.
• Exaggerate and change your facial expressions.
• Walk over to a window where there is sunlight.
• Do 10 jumping jacks.
• Do a ridiculous dance that pokes fun at you.
• Massage the back of your neck with one hand while singing happy birthday.

Try this next time you feel a negative or unpleasant thought come up.
2. “What Do You Want?”
Sit down and write down exactly what it is that you want out of the current situation. Your job is to describe the end result you would like to see. Be clear, realistic and fair. Be specific with your description. Including dates of when you would like to see the results.
Once you have this clearly mapped out, and when you find yourself drifting into negative thoughts of what you don’t want, you can shift your focus on this list instead.
Also, when we do this exercise consciously, we’ll come to find that the arbitrary and materialistic things that we thought we wanted, aren’t want we want, after all. Clarity is a beautiful thing.
3. Eliminate: Don’t, Not, No
Words such as Don’t, Not, No, Can’t gets us focused on the things that we don’t want. Language is a powerful thing and can influence our subconscious mind, and ultimately our feelings. When you catch yourself using a negated word, see if you can replace it with another word of opposing meaning. Example: instead of saying “I don’t want war”, say “I want peace”.
4. Finding the Light
Darkness can only be eliminated when there is light (like a lamp, or sunlight). In the same way, negative things can only be replaced by positive things. Remember that regardless of what is happening to us externally, or how bad things appear in our mind, we always have the choice to speak and see things positively.
I know this is harder to do when you’re in midst of heated emotions, but I’m a big believer that there is something to be learned from every situation we encounter. Look for the lesson. Find something about the situation that you’ve gained, whether it’s a material possession or an understanding or a personal growth. Find the light so you can uncover the darkness of your mind.

5. Surrender

Surrender to our ego’s need to be right, to blame, to be spiteful, and to be revengeful. Surrender to the moment. Surrender to the pull to become worked-up by the situation.
Become mindful. Watch your thoughts and learn to separate your thoughts from your own identity. Your thoughts are not you.
Things will play out regardless of whether we become emotional or not. Trust that the universe will work its course and do its job. By not surrendering, we get worked up for nothing, and our body will suffer as a result of it.
6. Circle of Influence
When we are feeling down, it’s easy to be sucked into the downward spiral of bad feelings. It really doesn’t help to be around others complaining about the same issues. It’s counter-productive to getting well.
Instead, find a group of people with a positive outlook. When we are around such a group of people, they will remind us of things we already know deep within us, we can start to recognize the good, and the positives. When we are down, we can draw energy from them in order to rise above the problem and negative state.
In the same way that being around negative people can affect you in a negative way, being around happy and optimistic people can raise our awareness, and help us move out of the un-resourceful state.

These are just a few examples. For more examples, refer to this link:
http://thinksimplenow.com/happiness/15-simple-ways-to-overcome-anger/

Thanks to a Friend

Thanks to someone replying to one of my recent posts, I was able to get ahold of this blog, that offers a good amount of information on Apricot kernels.  It is important to know where you are getting them, because simply said, some work and some dont.  Here is the link to the blog post that sheds some light on this:


http://apricot-kernels.blogspot.com.au/2012/02/apricot-kernels-some-work-some-dont.html

I do hope this helps if you are interested in looking into this as a alternative healing method. Take care one and all!

A Great Petition to be a Part Of

In Canada (B.C. specifically) they are proposing to make a pipeline (they call it the Enbridge Northgate Project).  Now here is some of the huge issues with that, that they don't really like people to focus on:

-It's 1700 Km of pipeline from Alberta Oil Sands to B.C.'c northern coast.
-It has potential to wreak havoc on Canada's most untouched wilderness
-It will cross an estimated 1000 salmon-bearing and freshwater streams
-It will cross mountains
-Go through rainforests
-It will go through First Nations territories

This is just a small list of the issues with this pipeline. I haven't even scraped the surface! This hurts me, because not only do I care for our environment and the animals in it, but I want my children to grow up and have the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of this country and elsewhere, without selfish industry ruining it.  Take a stand with me by signing these 2 petitions! They are different from each other, so please sign them both! We have to be the voice for the voiceless. If our planet could talk, it wouldn't want this!

http://www.wwf.ca/conservation/oceans/greatbearsea/take_action_great_bear_sea/


http://dogwoodinitiative.org/no-tankers/petition

Thank you for taking the time for this!

Is there Justice? Will the real heroes, please stand up!?

There are many systems in which we stand.  Not all systems are alike...but are they working?  This is an age old question.  I have struggled with the idea that we have a corrupt system (specifically, the justice system).  Then again, years ago...someone could just yell,"Witch!" And that poor individual that was labelled, was put to death.  Obviously, we have come a long way in our justice system now, but is it for the people?  I have talked with many dealing with divorce, and their answer seems to be, that the system makes the judges and lawyers rich, but the people suffer.  Then again, there are some really great lawyers that fight hard for their clients and strive for them to succeed in what's right. Hmmm. Things to ponder. 

There are many things in our government that aren't being told to "the people".  We as citizens are left in the dark, while many line their pockets with gold.  Is this the case all the time, probably not.  Is there corruption everywhere? Yes.  I think what a person has to do, is choose.  Do you vote?  Do you stand up for what is right?  Are you a fence-sitter?  Do you complain about the world but do nothing to change it?  Are you passionate about helping others?

So many questions to answer.  I choose to believe that there is good in the world worth fighting for, and though people can be dark and cruel, there is still love and goodness which conquers all.  I don't feel that we are alone with our struggles in life.  As people we have to stick together and stop trying to cause devision!

I am writing this because I watched "The Dark Knight Rises" in theatre.  Not only was my heart aching for the people that were shot in Colorado, but I was listening to the message of the movie.  I do that a lot.  I am not one to just watch a show and say, "yeah, that was soooo awesome!" But walk away not learning anything. So, what did I hear and learn?

I learnt that you have to have hope in dark times.  You also have to stick together and help each other.  Another thing, you can't sit on your hands and let bad people and bad decisions change the course of your life.  Take control of your own life, take accountability, and never let anyone discourage you from doing what is right. Fight for what is right!  Batman is a fictional hero, but there are many real heroes among us.  Be one.  It's not hard.  Just stand up and promote what is good and just.  You don't have to wait on someone else to do it first!

Why Do People Bully?

What Is Bullying?
Before we can discuss why people bully, we need to have a clear understanding of what bullying is. Some consider bullying to be purposeful attempts to control another person through verbal abuse - which can be in tone of voice or in content such as teasing or threats - exclusion, or physical bullying or violence, which the victim does not want. While some ties the feature of "peer abuse" and "repeated activity" into the definition of bullying, others acknowledge single instances and age difference in their definitions of bullying. Bullying occurs in schools, workplaces, in homes, on playgrounds, in the military, and in nursing homes, for example. In the article "Uncovering the hidden causes of bullying and school violence" published in Counseling and Human Development in February, 2000, Barry K. Weinhold states that bullying is the most common type of violence in contemporary US society. Although a form of harassment, bullying is considered to be a separate category from sexual harassment.

Why Do People Bully?
There are a variety of reasons why people bully.

*Cultural Causes of Bullying In a culture that is fascinated with winning, power, and violence, some experts suggest that it is unrealistic to expect that people will not be influenced to seek power through violence in their own lives. Researchers point to the World Wrestling Federation (WWF) as glorification of bullies in the name of entertainment and point out that the high rate of domestic violence means that many young people grow up expecting that violence is an acceptable way to get what one wants.
*Institutional Causes If the institution at which the bullying takes place - whether the home, the school, or the workplace - does not have high standards for the way people treat each other, then bullying may be more likely and/or prevalent and have an influence on why people bully.
*Social Issues The fact that one gets more social recognition for negative behaviors than for positive ones can also contribute to reasons why people bully. Situation comedies and reality television, as well as real life situations in schools, for example, show that acting out is more likely to get noticed than behaving oneself civilly and courteously. Jealousy or envy and a lack of personal and social skills to deal with such feelings can also be reasons why people bully.
*Family Issues Families that are not warm and loving and in which feelings are not shared are more likely to have children who bully, either within the family home or in other locations in which the children meet others. Another home environment that is prone to producing bullies is one in which discipline and monitoring are inconsistent and/or a punitive atmosphere exists.
*The Bully's Personal History Children who experience social rejection themselves are more likely to "pass it on" to others. Children who experience academic failure are also more likely to bully others.
*Having Power Some research indicates that the very fact of having power may make some people wish to wield it in a noticeable way, but it is also true that people may be given power without being trained in the leadership skills that will help them wield it wisely. Either situation can contribute to why people bully others.
*Provocative Victims People who are annoying and condescending to others and/or aggressive verbally, or in other ways that are not picked up by those in authority, may contribute to the dynamic that can be characterized as bullying by one individual but actually grows out of provocation by another individual.



3 Healthy foods for Healthy Hair!

"Lather, rinse, repeat" may be standard advice, but shampoo and conditioner alone won't give you the healthy hair you crave. For the most luxurious locks possible, you'll need to step out of the shower, and into the kitchen.

Healthy Hair Food No. 1: Salmon

When it comes to foods that pack a beauty punch, it's hard to beat salmon. Loaded with omega-3 fatty acids, this high-quality protein source is also filled with vitamin B-12 and iron.
"Essential omega-3 fatty acids are needed to support scalp health," says Andrea Giancoli, MPH, RD, a dietitian in Los Angeles and a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association. "A deficiency can result in a dry scalp and thus hair, giving it a dull look."
Vegetarian? Include one or two tablespoons of ground flaxseed in your daily diet for some plant-based omega-3 fats.

Healthy Hair Food No. 2: Dark Green Vegetables

Popeye the Sailor Man didn't eat all that spinach for healthy hair, but he could have. Spinach, like broccoli and Swiss chard, is an excellent source of vitamins A and C, which your body needs to produce sebum. The oily substance, secreted by your hair follicles, is the body's natural hair conditioner.
Dark green vegetables also provide iron and calcium.

Healthy Hair Food No. 3: Beans

Beans, beans, they're good for your ... hair?
Yes, it's true. Legumes like kidney beans and lentils should be an important part of your hair-care diet. Not only do they provide plentiful protein to promote hair growth, but ample iron, zinc, and biotin. While rare, biotin deficiencies can result in brittle hair.
Blatner, who is also a spokeswoman for the American Dietetic Association, recommends three or more cups of lentils or beans each week.

Vitamins-Some quick info

Food or Pills?

Popping a vitamin supplement may seem like a convenient and easy way to ensure you are meeting your vitamin requirements, but there are some important differences between getting your nutrients from supplements and getting them through food. Although people who eat foods rich in vitamins have a lower rate of disease, this is not the case for people who get these vitamins through supplements, according to the Consumer Reports Health website. This may be because healthy foods typically contain a number of nutrients, all which act together to provide health benefits. However, while it is always preferable to try to meet recommended daily allowance of vitamins and minerals through your diet, this is not always possible.

If you are not consuming enough vitamin enriched foods, then vitamins can ensure you are getting what you need.  However, taking too much can cause some issues as well.  Always do your research or ask your doctor questions if you don't have the answers.  Don't assume that just because they are vitamins that they can't do any harm.  Sometimes too much of something isn't a good thing, so be wise and always take what is needed.

Also, something to note, if you are deficient in your vitamins it can also cause a huge impact on your health.  Eat right, excercise, take vitamins if needed, drink water, etc.  The number one thing here is to treat your body with respect.  It will respect you right back if you do. Be healthy everyone!

Interesting Info on Organic Food

Organic food is still a niche market, representing just over two percent of all food sold. According to Consumer Reports, it costs consumers on average about 50 percent more than conventionally grown foods. But organic food is more visible today than ever before, with most large supermarket chains in Canada now offering dedicated organic sections.

A reason for the surge in popularity in organic foods? Most Canadians say they buy organic because it's healthier, according to an ACNielsen survey. But are they right?

Eighty-five percent of organic food sold in Canada is grown in the United States. Wherever grown, no food - whether organic or conventional - can be sold in Canada unless it meets Canadian standards for legal pesticides and for residue limits. Says Health Canada's Paul Duchesne, "Our main interest is to ensure that both types of food are safe to consume."

Organic food is brought to market according to the National Standard of Canada for Organic Agriculture, principles "that endorse production and management practices that contribute to the quality and sustainability of the environment and ensure the ethical treatment of livestock." One of the main differences is supposed to be that organic produce is not sprayed with synthetic pesticides.

Yet, the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) says, "the term organic is not synonymous with pesticide-free." Several large U.S. studies have found traces of synthetic pesticides on as much as 25 percent of organic foods. (There have been no similar major studies done on organic foods in Canada, but the CFIA found that ten percent of all Canadian-grown produce - conventional and organic - had pesticide residues.)

Some of those residues found on organic food may be due to "uncontrolled contamination," says Andy Hammermeister of the Organic Agriculture Centre of Canada at Nova Scotia Agricultural College in Truro. That could be the result of the wind blowing synthetic pesticides onto organic crops, prior use of synthetic pesticides on the land, old or used spraying equipment, and so on. But it's not always by accident that pesticides end up on organic foods. "Most people don't realize that organic farmers are allowed to use a wide array of natural, non-synthetic chemicals as pest killers," says Alex Avery, director of research and education at the Centre for Global Food Issues, a United States-based Hudson Institute group that researches agricultural and environmental concerns. Many conventional farmers, meanwhile, are actually using less pesticide. In Ontario, for example, pesticide application has dropped by 50 to 60 percent overall since 1983, according to the Ontario Ministry of Agriculture.

And just because pesticides are natural doesn't mean they aren't toxic. The natural pesticide rotenone, for instance, found in a number of plants, causes Parkinson's symptoms when injected into rats. Pyrethrum, derived from dried chrysanthemum heads, has been classified by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency as having "suggestive evidence of carcinogenicity." For humans, Avery says, "the natural poisons pose the same theoretical, but remote, dangers as the synthetic."

But consumers need not be alarmed by pesticide residues, natural or synthetic, left behind on both organically and conventionally grown produce. For one thing, most comes off en route from the farm to your shopping cart – in the process of trimming, shipping and washing. According to Christine Bruhn, director of the Center for Consumer Research at the University of California, Davis, washing alone removes from 70 to 99 percent of pesticide residues. After washing, any traces left are minute. In fact, we're exposed, on average, to only about 0.9 milligrams of synthetic pesticides daily.

For more, click this link:
http://www.besthealthmag.ca/eat-well/healthy-eating/does-organic-mean-healthier

More information (answers to questions) about Apricot Seeds

Q22. Is B17 (laetrile) or apricot seeds toxic to the body?
Technically, every food on the planet earth is toxic. However, when a person uses the term "toxic" it generally means the substance is poisonous when taken in low doses. With this definition, laetrile or raw apricot seeds are not toxic, even when taken in high doses. This is just another urban myth the medical establishment has conjured up to scare you from seeking the truth and using all natural and inexpensive cancer treatment methods. Aspirin is actually 20 times more toxic than the equivalent amount of B17. But even with aspirin, if an individual consumes a massive amount of the product, serious health complications may result. When in doubt take the smallest amount possible and consult a natural medical doctor as to exactly how much you should be consuming. Dr. Neilson may be contacted at 1-800-799-4393, 24/7. Tell his secretary that you got his number off the myapricotseeds.com website.
 

http://www.rawapricotseeds.com/vitamin-b17.html#a22

 

See website above for important questions answered about apricot seeds/B17

Munchy, Crunchy Broccoli Salad!

Ingredients

• 2 heads fresh broccoli
• 1 red onion
• 1/2 pound bacon
• 3/4 cup raisins
• 3/4 cup sliced almonds
• 1 cup mayonnaise
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 tablespoons white wine vinegar

Directions

1. Place bacon in a deep skillet and cook over medium high heat until evenly brown. Cool and crumble.
2. Cut the broccoli into bite-size pieces and cut the onion into thin bite-size slices. Combine with the bacon, raisins, your favorite nuts and mix well.
3. To prepare the dressing, mix the mayonnaise, sugar and vinegar together until smooth. Stir into the salad, let chill and serve.               

This is a yummy summer salad that uses an interesting combination of fruits, vegetables and meats. Before you decide you won't like it, try it. You'll be pleasantly surprised. You can add an extra head of broccoli, if you like.


More interesting and delicious ideas at: www.allrecipes.com

Women, Power Up!

This is not some women's lib message that bashes men...I want to start by saying that first and foremost.  Men are crucial in assisting women develop relationships, and of course so much more (but we won't get into any of that in this message). 
However, in many cases women depend on men way too much!  It is unhealthy to think of men as the only way we define who we are.  Women, if you are in a relationship with a man, I am telling you that it is unfair to him to expect him to empower you. It is not a man's job to lift you up.  It's your job.  What would you do if you didn't have a man?  Would you melt away into the cracks of the sidewalk? I highly doubt it.  What you would do, is simply learn to accept who you are and walk in confidence, or be unhappy for the rest of your life because you can't accept yourself (I don't like this option).
By the way, a little side note: Men dig women who are confident.  They don't want a sniveling, depressed woman leaning on them to always make her feel good about herself.

I can say all this because at one point, I was always struggling with who I was.  I had a low self-esteem and based on some of my past family situations, became confused with confidence.  Because I knew nothing about being confident, I ended up dating at a young age (yes, 15 is young, ok).  The bad part of this dating process, was that I went into the relationship with a low self-esteem.  Don't get into a relationship with someone if you don't feel good about yourself (just a tip).  Why?  Well, I ended up leaning on my boyfriend for the emptiness that I was feeling about myself.  It was a huge burden for him of course, because it always seemed no matter what he said or did, it was never good enough.  Yup, that's right, you have to want to believe what this person is saying about you.  If you don't, they can give you the moon and be the best mate you have ever had, but it won't amount to much in your eyes.  Sad. 

Needless to say, he started to resent me.  I was too much for him.  I had way too much emotional baggage that he didn't cause, but I was looking to him to fix.  Shame on me.  He just wanted a fun date life, not a crazy commitment of being a pyschologist.  Face your fears on your own. 

Now, don't get me wrong, men should compliment their women, and do some sweet things for them, but if you already have a negative look on things, you may not even accept their kind gestures of affection.  I had to teach myself to say thank you, when I would receive a compliment.  It wasn't easy.  The one thing that assisted me a lot in boosting my self-esteem, was learning to be independent.  Learning to not have to lean on a man for support of any kind.  Especially emotional support.  If I could be happy in my own skin without being in a relationship with a man, then I was on the right track. 

All of this means, that even if your boyfriend or husband lacks in the area of compliments and romantic acts, that you will not all of a sudden keel over and die.  You may want to remind your spouse that you would like a little more attention in some areas, but you shouldn't need it to be happy.  I hope all of this makes sense.

This was brought on by a text message from a dear friend having a hard time leaving a destructive relationship with a man.  She was afraid of the unknown (being alone).  I gave her some advice similar to this.  Change is sometimes scary, but it can be good for us.  We need to learn to be ok on our own as individuals.  We need to believe in ourselves and what we can accomplish aside from people around us.  Who are you?  Are you confident?  Do you believe that you are a strong person?  i hope that this empowers you to check yourself.  Don't lean on people for happiness or worth.  You are worth it all on your own!  You are special and the world wouldn't be the same without you!

written by the author of this blog with love <3

Names of ingredients that contain processed free glutamic acid (MSG)

Everyone knows that some people get reactions after eating the food ingredient monosodium glutamate --reactions that include migraine headaches, upset stomach, fuzzy thinking, diarrhea, heart irregularities, asthma, and/or mood swings. What many don’t know, is that more than 40 different ingredients contain the chemical in monosodium glutamate (processed free glutamic acid) that causes these reactions. The following list of ingredients that contain processed free glutamic acid has been compiled over the last 20 years from consumers’ reports of adverse reactions and information provided by manufacturers and food technologists.

Names of ingredients that always contain processed free glutamic acid:

Glutamic acid (E 620)², Glutamate (E 620)

Monosodium glutamate (E 621)

Monopotassium glutamate (E 622)

Calcium glutamate (E 623)

Monoammonium glutamate (E 624)

Magnesium glutamate (E 625)

Natrium glutamate

Yeast extract

Anything “hydrolyzed”

Any “hydrolyzed protein”

Calcium caseinate, Sodium caseinate

Yeast food, Yeast nutrient

Autolyzed yeast

Gelatin

Textured protein

Soy protein, soy protein concentrate

Soy protein isolate

Whey protein, whey protein concentrate

Whey protein isolate

Anything “…protein”

Vetsin

Ajinomoto

Names of ingredients that often contain or produce processed free glutamic acid:

Carrageenan (E 407)

Bouillon and broth

Stock

Any “flavors” or “flavoring”

Maltodextrin

Citric acid, Citrate (E 330)

Anything “ultra-pasteurized”

Barley malt

Pectin (E 440)

Protease

Anything “enzyme modified”

Anything containing “enzymes”

Malt extract

Soy sauce

Soy sauce extract

Anything “protein fortified”

Anything “fermented”

Seasonings

(1) Glutamic acid found in unadulterated protein does not cause adverse reactions. To cause adverse reactions, the glutamic acid must have been processed/manufactured or come from protein that has been fermented.

The information provided here was last updated in February of 2011.

Great Summer Guacamole

I made this recently, and I must say, I was pleasantly surprised! Very tasty!  The key is to buy fresh produce, and the avocados should come out of their skin fairly easily.  You can use a spoon, but you shouldn't have to force the avocado out.


Ingredients

• 3 avocados - peeled, pitted, and mashed
• 1 lime, juiced
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 cup diced onion
• 3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
• 2 roma (plum) tomatoes, diced
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1 pinch ground cayenne pepper (optional)

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, mash together the avocados, lime juice, and salt. Mix in onion, cilantro, tomatoes, and garlic. Stir in cayenne pepper. Refrigerate 1 hour for best flavor, or serve immediately.               

ENJOY!

(I did end up refrigerating for an hour. I would encourage you to do so as well.  Optimal taste that way. If you like spicy...try to add a tsp of cayenne instead of a pinch.  I did.)

Why go Organic when it comes to Makeup?

Healthy foundations are beginning to revolutionize the way that women wear makeup.
Foundation has always been known to clog pores, but that was up until the idea of having vitamin enriched base came to the market.
Nowadays, you can get the foundation you need and the coverage you deserve without having to worry about running into skin problems along the way. Here is a look at what organic cosmetics can do for you.

Healing

The best foundation makeup on the market can actually help heal your skin, rather than making it worse.
There are minerals infused in the foundations that reconstruct certain skin elements that other makeups may fill with toxins or strip away. You can safely wear this makeup at night or during the day, and it will work to get your skin better in the end.
This should not be your only source of healing solution if you have skin problems, but at least it will not make any of your problems worse.

Waterproof

Many organic cosmetics on the market are actually waterproof, meaning that you could swim or even shower with your foundation on and not have to reapply when you get home.
Oil based foundations will wash away in a nasty sludge when they come in contact with water, but with mineral foundations, you do not have to worry about that.
You can feel free to sweat and get wet if need be.

Light

Natural mineral makeup has a light texture to it that is unlike anything else on the market.
This makeup literally floats on the skin, and as a result, little pockets of air are able to get to the pores below the makeup. You do not have to worry about clogged pores in this case.
This solution is great foundation for acne prone skin, and it can be a wonderful foundation for oily skin as well. Virtually anyone can benefit from the minerals found within.


These are just a few of the benefits...it certainly doesn't end here.  Try to purchase the most natural and organic products you can.  It isn't always easy, and the term 'natural' can be abused by companies to sell their product.  Ask questions if you can to someone who knows the product and who will be honest with you, or google the information or ingredients to find out if they are safe.  We have to make an effort if we want our skin or bodies to stay as youthful as we can.  Aging is a thing we should be embracing, but not abusing.  We must do our part to maintain our own health.  Most importantly, love yourself first and foremost!

Offense, non taken...

This was really helpful to me, and I hope it also becomes helpful to you.  Enjoy!

 

How to NOT Take Things Personally: A Practical Guide

Written by Christine Kane

Last week, I had lunch with a freelance writer who is interviewing me for a regional women’s magazine. Before the interview began, she related a situation that has left her drained and unhappy about a non-profit program she founded. As I listened, it became apparent that each of the people involved took each other’s miscommunications personally. Then, they told their “story” to other people who believed it. Those people continued the stories by passing them along to create a full-blown drama.

We’ve all done this. Some of us can catch ourselves taking things personally. And some of us don’t know how to shift it. We wonder why we take things personally and how we’ll ever get out of that mindset.

Though I’m far from being fully detached, I’ve come a long way on this path. Compared to where I once was, I feel like the Buddha. There’s nothing like the entertainment business to teach you – in a big way – how to not take things personally.

The Benefits of Not Taking Things Personally

The biggest benefits of not taking things personally are self-awareness and clarity. Being centered and grounded while knowing that only you can dictate whether or not you’re on track or whether or not you’re successful is a reward in and of itself. Anyone who has experienced this state of being knows how good it feels. Once you get a taste of it, you’ll strive to be in that state more often. Even when you get thrown off, you’ll relish the knowledge that you get to choose whether or not to remain stuck. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.”

Your Story is Rarely Correct

The first step in breaking the habit of taking things personally is to observe the stories you tell yourself. These stories have nothing to do with facts. They’re all about your translations. Do you spin a self-righteous tale about how you’re doing good things in the world and the evil right-wingers are closed and greedy? Do you have a good victim story about how you’re the sensitive one and people are cold and hurtful to poor souls like you? Do you feel rejected by situations that aren’t at all about rejection? Begin noticing if there are recurring threads woven throughout your personal stories. Begin asking yourself if there’s any truth in them at all. And ask yourself how you’d behave if they simply weren’t true.

Once you begin to notice the stories you tell yourself, breaking the habit of taking things personally can happen through some simple practices and courageous actions.

How to Not Take Things Personally

1 – SWSWSWSW

This stands for “Some will. Some won’t. So what? Someone’s waiting!” It means that some people are going to love what you do. Then, there will be those who visit your blog, look at your paintings, listen to your songs, read your poems, review your resume – and they’ll shrug and say, “Yea, not so much.” So what? Somewhere out there someone is waiting for your gift. And if you have to keep working on your craft, or wait a little while, that’s okay!

2 – Remember that people are busy

People are busy. They may not have time for you. Young musicians complain because they try to book a venue, but their emails weren’t answered. They give up. And they get resentful. I tell them the same thing: People are busy. It’s not personal. They just don’t have time to answer every email. (Revisit #1.)

3 – Email is instant. Use accordingly.

Email creates fabulous opportunities to take things personally. (Blog comments, too.) The quickness of our culture has removed much of the etiquette that some of us would normally expect. Most people just “fire it off.” If you get an email that hurts or feels personal, take an hour or so to chill out. Then re-read the email in a kind narrator’s voice. Be careful with the temptation to over-dramatize someone else being in a hurry with his email or comment. For some people, email is quick and easy. It is simply a tool – not a way to make you feel okay about yourself!

4 – Begin each day with presence and proactive-ness

How you begin your day often sets the tone for the day. If you start the day by opening your email and launching your browser, you are opening yourself up to external stuff – some of which may trigger you. Start instead with creative and proactive activities. Some possibilities: meditation, yoga, going to the gym, writing a blog, writing a song/poem, doing morning pages, writing down goals and intents, creating your day in advance. Start with a strong foundation of honoring yourself each day.

5 – Create a “Good Mojo” file

Create a “Good Mojo” folder in your email. Create a file called “Good Mojo” in your file cabinet. Fill these files with kind emails and loving cards from friends or co-workers or fans. If you’re taking things personally, you may as well rummage through these files to find the good messages, the words and cards from people who love what you do. Start keeping this folder and use it when you need it.

6 – Be willing to look like an idiot: Communicate

Recently one of my best friends and I planned to meet each other at a certain time in city we were both visiting. I called her when I was on the way, and in the conversation she said that I could “just go shopping outside of her hotel and she’d come down and meet me later.” Every part of my being shouted, “She’s blowing me off!” I hung up the phone feeling hurt. My drama-queen story-tellers were in the wings putting on their costumes. Before they got on stage, I called her back and I said, “Okay, I’m not trying to be pushy or weird here, but I feel like we had these plans and I don’t understand what happened.” She interrupted and said, “Oh, I’m so glad you called back to clear that up! I got the sense that you needed time and space, and I was trying to let you to have that!” Because I got a little brave and was willing to look a bit needy, we both got to laugh at our miscommunication.

If something feels strange or out of balance, check in with the other person. Take the responsibility. Say, “This may sound strange, but…” Or “I’m afraid I may have said something out of line. Is that possible?” Most people – not all – will be grateful that you cared enough to clear the air.

Note: This is not an appropriate technique in certain professional situations. If, for instance, someone has rejected your work for a gallery or a showcase, refer to #1 above. Don’t call a gallery owner (or promoter or record producer) back and say, “I sense you had some hostility towards me and I’m just checking in because it really hurt my feelings.” Not good.

7 – Beware of collusion

In the situation above, I could’ve chosen not to call my friend back. I could’ve called another friend and vented. I could’ve said, “I’ve come all this way to meet her and what does she say…?” The other friend could get hooked into my story, and we’d waste a whole tonage of energy investing in it. Not worth it. TAKE NOTE: Colluding is the best way to perpetuate the pattern of taking things personally. It takes a deep and committed discipline to shift out of this pattern. That’s because much of what we call friendship in our culture is little more than disliking the same people and staying stuck in our own versions of the truth and requiring that our friends agree with us. Collusion is rounding up people who believe your own illusions. Stop it.

8 – Make a list and move to the next thing

Many of us strategize for the one big thing that will be our “saving grace.” This is a veritable petri dish for taking things personally. You apply for a scholarship to one MFA program. You send your article off to one magazine. You ask only one producer to make your CD. There’s a better way here. Before you send yourself out into the world – be it resume, scholarship, grant, producer, publication – make a list of many options. List all of the publications, grants, employers, options, etc. Move down the list if someone says no. Find that someone who’s waiting.

9 – Shut up and listen

When you listen and quietly observe, you often find that you had it all wrong. You may actually see humor in how you can take everything so personally. Sit down on the floor, lean against a wall and quietly listen to your own breathing. Or, when you’re in a conversation with someone else, stop and listen. Really deeply listen. Try practicing this in every day conversations that aren’t emotional. This will prepare you for moments when you are taking something personally.

10 – Use unemotional language when you communicate

Phrases like “Well, you’re the one who…” and “You took that all wrong!” are inflammatory and do little to help a situation. Try to use language that’s not about the emotions and not about pointing fingers. “I think I didn’t communicate this well so let me try again.” Or, “I’m not sure I understand you. Can we discuss this on the phone?” The challenge is to communicate with unemotional language. Kind of a “here’s the facts ma’am” approach. Write out your desired outcome for the conversation. Get clear inside yourself, and then talk with the other person.

11 – Eat enough. Sleep enough.

Being tired or hungry will always make you more sensitive or irritable. Don’t try to function well if you’re hungry or if you haven’t slept well.

12 – Let the deeper goal be what motivates you

Who you become on your journey is far more meaningful than what happens to you. If you learn how to get beyond taking things personally by witnessing and then choosing a different response, you will eventually become unshakable. You can lose all your money; you can get rotten reviews of your recent work after being lauded for the last one; you can get fired tomorrow – but you can’t lose who you are. You can’t lose your essence. When you become someone who is clear and centered, you will have the tools to move through life no matter what happens externally.

For more great information from an amazing lady, visit her website at:  www.christinekane.com

Inspire with Poetry

IF by Rudyard Kipling (author of The Jungle Book)

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you.
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat these two impostors just the same;

If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Waiting on the World to Change

It's not politics that seperate us, nor is it religion (or faith).  It truly is nothing other than, people seperating people.  It's been that way since the beginning of time.  Isn't it easy to put the blame on something (or someone) else other than ourselves? Of course.  It's easier to look at the splinter in other peoples eye, then the log in our own (oh, and yes, that comes from The Bible, don't gasp...there is amazing things to learn).  There will always be a uniqueness in each of us.  It is was makes our world so vast and interesting.
We all need to try and focus on how to become better individuals, then putting our energy into trying to change others.  By our good actions and positive nature, we can only hope that it will become contagious to the others around us, and encourage them to work towards that same goal.
Patience is not something we are born with, it's something we must practice everyday!  Anytime change is involved, I truly believe it also requires a bunch of patience to back it up.  Have a great day one and all, and pay it forward. 

"Waiting On The World To Change"

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could

Now we see everything that's going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would have never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
And when you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cause when they own the information, oh
They can bend it all they want

That's why we're waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

It's not that we don't care,
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

And we're still waiting
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population
So we keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

We keep on waiting
Waiting on the world to change

 

Song by: John Mayer